Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

How do I get my body in shape?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Does a person with schizophrenia hear voices?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What happens in Sweden if you cannot pay a hospital debt you did not know about until recently but willing to pay when your finances improve?

I actually pay taxes

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have a reading level above third grade

Have you ever had a scary dream about a loved one or friend soon after their death?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Do people have to be a pastor to baptize?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Why should the US public listen to Lauren Boebert, the queen of hypocrisy tell us, "We need morals back in our nation" when her real-time video is the heartbeat of immoral? Why does her audio not match her video?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

If the world was flat, would it be possible to see Mount Everest if it was on the other side of the Earth on a clear sunny day?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

To prevent ovarian cancers, fallopian tube removal is on the rise - statnews.com

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I see through liars

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Can you give an example of a documentary where the person telling the story believed it to be true, but it turned out to be false?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why do some straight men like to suck dick but don't find other males attractive?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can read

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count